Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!  I love Easter.  It is a wonderful time to reflect on God's entire plan for the human race from creation, the fall, offering Himself up as a sacrifice to pay our fines, conquering death, and offering eternal life to us.  How blessed we are to be part of His eternal plan!

This year we celebrated Easter with our church family as usual and in the afternoon headed over to Grandma & Grandpa's for dinner.  We had a delicious dinner and too many desserts, but it was sooo good.  After dinner we headed outside for our traditional Easter egg hunt.  This was Benjamin's first year to join in, since last year he wasn't even crawling.  We tried to help him understand the point of the hunt, but he just wanted to pick up the egg and play with it, so after 4 eggs we just let him sit down and play with them.  Next year we may have to practice ahead of time. :)  

The 2011 egg hunters: Cohen, John, Amy, Benjamin, and Emma.  

Tulips & Surgery

On Monday, my mom and I took Benjamin to the Tulip festival.  I had not been for about 10 years and it was fun to see the beautiful colors.

Benjamin loved the pretty flowers and was so gentle with them.

But much more fun than the flowers were the rocks.  Such a boy.

If you look closely, you will see below that Benjamin is not admiring the pretty flowers, but the rock he is holding. :)

Now those are what I call shoes...

Tuesday was Benjamin's eye surgery.  We had an early start and were back home by early afternoon.  Everything went well and Benjamin did great.  When he checked in he was actually excited and thought it was a party.  The other children we were sharing a room with were crying and very upset and Benjamin was bouncing around having a great time.  Maybe he felt like he was back in familiar territory?  Maybe he was excited about wearing the pink hospital clothes again (I still don't understand why they didn't choose green, brown, or yellow)?  He certainly didn't need the meds they gave him for anxiety, but they did help him to be less hyper.

After the surgery was not as much as a party as his eyes were sore and I am sure he was confused, but he still did great.  The worst part now is having to give him eye drops 4 times per day.  Have you ever given a toddler eye drops?  I reminds me of calf wrestling you see at rodeos.  To do it well, you need 3 people.  One to control the hands and body, one to keep his head still, and one to get the drops in.  Unfortunately, it is just me for 3 of the 4 times per day.  You can imagine how that goes!  Now he is a bit cross-eyed and his eyes have a lot of red in the white part, but both of those should clear up in a week or two.

#7 & Fun with a Blanket

Spring!  I love this season.  Though we have had so much rain, God has provided a few days here and there of sun.  Last Friday was absolutely gorgeous and such a gift.  I got to spend several hours outside in the yard weeding and just enjoying the fresh air.  Benjamin came out too after his name and had great fun.  Sunshine does the heart good.

I am really surprised how easily I have settled into my new role as a full time homemaker.  I feel like I have been doing it for years in some ways.  I still find it strange how little time there seems to be though and how fast the days go.  That was one of my biggest concerns about staying home - being bored - but I have not had the chance yet.  Baby is now 14 weeks along and according to one of my books is 3-4 inches from head to rump and if you could peek inside would look just like a miniature human.  Thank you, God that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am still experiencing some nausea, especially in the evenings, which I was sure would be gone by now.  I am praying that it will fade away soon and not last the whole pregnancy (or I might wish baby would come early! Just kidding.)

Brian is doing really well at his new job and has received good compliments from both his manager and coworkers.  He is really starting to get into his work and seems to enjoy it.  His current job is a contract position (a little higher pay with lousy benefits) and there is possibility that he may be hired on full time in the future (a little less pay, but hopefully good benefits) which would really bless our family as we have a very special boy with some pretty special needs.  We would appreciate any prayer we can get in this area.

Benjamin is doing well.  He is happy and vibrant and I fall in love with him all over again each and every day.  I feel so blessed to be his mommy.  We found out several weeks ago that he will need another eye surgery, that is scheduled in 2 weeks.  This surgery is to correct his "wandering" eye and may be on one or both eyes. This is surgery #7.  Seven is the perfect number, so I am praying that this will complete his surgeries, though we have been told that sometimes it can take multiple surgeries to correct this problem.  If gone un-treated, his brain would eventually "turn off" the sight to that eye to avoid seeing double, so it is very necessary.  We would appreciate prayer for this too, as every surgery comes with risks.

A few weeks ago we received a blanket made from girls in Thailand that live in a Remember Nhu home.  (Remember Nhu is a ministry that has homes in several countries that welcome in primarily young girls that are at high risk to be sold into prostitution.)  They are learning to knit and have knitted together squares to make a little blanket.  As soon as I opened the package, Benjamin decided it was his blanket and spent the next half hour or so dragging it around the house.

Here is another picture I thought was cute.  Our church's little Sunday School has been learning about the Armor of God.  One week they talked about the helmet of salvation and gave the kids little toy army helmets as an illustration.  (If you are wondering were Benjamin's glasses are in these pictures, so am I!)

 

2 years !!!

Benjamin turned 2 years old on Sunday!  We celebrated in the evening and had dinner with family.  Benjamin received some fun new gifts that he has been enjoying this week.  Below is a picture of Benjamin when he was being serenaded "Happy Birthday."  His Grandma Jan made the beautiful cake.

He received another special birthday cake from his friend Bella (4).  This was not any ordinary cake, as it was composed of colorful, special ingredients including a bracelet and some lovely hair clips for frosting.  As you can see below, Benjamin got a little "frosting" in his hair.  (Hopefully daddy doesn't see this post or this part might get removed.) :)

 

Here is a fun picture of Benjamin "helping" me with the dishes the other day.

Remembering

In the past week I have seen Benjamin start to walk on his own much more.  He is still a bit uncertain and wobbly, but he is starting to walk between furniture and across rooms at times.  Yesterday he walked by himself just holding onto one of my hands down to the end of the block.  I was really hoping that he would be doing this by his second birthday, which is Sunday!  I cannot believe it has been two years since my little guy made his surprise arrival.  Last week during an insomnia spell one night, I allowed myself to drift back to the days spent in the NICU.  I often think of bits and pieces of our journey, but I really allowed myself to remember this time.  Honestly, it was hard.  It is amazing how you can stuff pain away like an ugly sweater in your closet.  But next to the ugly pain sweater is the beautiful "miracles & blessings" sweater that is a joy to rediscover.  The David Crowder Band song "How He Loves Us" just came to mind.  That song is so true.  If you haven't heard it check it out at this site http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=11&id=1034792.  God loves us so powerfully and He is jealous for our hearts.  You can know God if life is just dandy and nothing bad ever happens to you, but when you go through something tough and suddenly God goes from being big and good to being your lifeline and source of breath...wow.   It is so weird to love a difficult experience.  My mom and I were talking about this just the other week.  We didn't wish this on Benjamin, yet we would not want to go back and undo the experience (but I don't want to do it again either!)

A quick update on my little guy's progress.  We had an appointment with the Developement Pediatrician & PT today.  I must say I am not a big fan of these apts because we almost always end up walking away with more apts with other specialists and they usually can be rather negative as they focus on what he is behind on rather than how far he has come (that is when I realize how blessed we are to have his other PT, Karen who tends to focus on the positive and provides much comfort for this mama's heart.) They did standardized testing on him to see his progress.  He did much better than last time, but as usual they want more work on speech and occupational therapy and ordered a hearing test.  (I told them Benjamin's hearing is fine, but could they look at Brian's instead?  He never seems to hear me.)  I always walk out of there feeling like a bit of a failure as a mom.  Just another reason to pray harder for a full term or near full term baby this time.  It would be cool to just have one regular pediatrician to work with instead of a bunch of specialists.  I do not recommend parenting under a microscope.  

Day 5

Well, I am in day 5 of my new job, and today I am loving it.  It snowed yesterday and has been cold enough that some of it stuck around this morning, but the sun is out and even though I am not out in it (36 and windy is too much for me) I love looking out the window.  Also, this is the second day in a row that I had a little break from nausea.  I felt good for 3-4 hours yesterday and actually most of today.  It is amazing how much difference your outlook on life changes when you feel good.  I still feel sick at night, which I could do without, but I keep reminding myself that it is just a reminder that I am carrying my little peanut. :)

Benjamin did a little funny this morning...He was sitting in his highchair eating some kix cereal while I checked my email for a minute.  I left the box on our table with the intent to give him a little more when he finished, but apparently he didn't want to wait for me so he stretched to get the box and when I looked over he had poured most of the contents onto his tray!  Thank goodness it was not a full box, and he managed to only drop half a dozen on the floor.  Guess that is what I get for not staying on top of my duties!  Sounds like he will be a take-charge kind of guy.

It is so nice to move at this new pace.  I feel like a lot of tension has been lifted.  I am just thanking God for lining it all up for our family.

One Chapter Closes, Another Begins

Change...it is beautiful, stressful, fresh, and just plain different.  There a lot of changes and blessings in our household these days.  First, Brian started his job in early December.  It was a huge blessing since the economy had us wondering if he was going to be a stay-at-home dad for a while.  It was also a bit of a stress as we were back to the crazy routine of dropping Benjamin off and picking him up and juggling his appointments and life in general.  So when it was time to make a decision about my future, the decision was not as hard.  In mid January I turned in my resignation.  The week after I gave my notice, we found out that Benjamin was going to be a big brother!  This is my first week off and in many ways I am so glad.  I am only 8 weeks along, but for the past 2 weeks I have been so tired and a bit nauseous.  With Benjamin I started to feel better around 11-12 weeks, so I am praying that it will be the same and I will start feeling better in 3-4 weeks.

What now?  I have worked full time for nearly 10 years now and was the sole bread-winner for most of our marriage.  I thought to myself, "now I get to just relax for a while and take it easy."  And then I remembered that I am a mom of a busy toddler and a 1/2 inch peanut.  It was a nice thought though.  I am excited about spending time with Benjamin and actually getting to rock and read books and not feel like I have a million other things to do.  I am also excited about having time to make meals that take more than 20 minutes to cook and having a home that doesn't look the aftermath of an earthquake.  Brian and I agree that we will probably not ever live in a really nice home or drive new cars or take nice vacations, but the trade off is worth it to us.  I am only 2 days into this, but I think it will be really healthy for my family.

As for Benjamin, he is almost 2!  He is still not walking, but mainly because he is too proficient at crawling.  His physical therapist has challenged me with motivating him to walk.  He has taken up to 6-7 steps on his own, but since his is extremely proficient at crawling I think he wonders why he should walk.  He says a couple words and is doing more repeating.  He is hugely fascinated with light.  No matter where he goes he always points out the light fixtures and if they are off, he says "ahh" for "on".  My dad say he works for the electric company, since he will ask and ask and ask again for the lights to be turned on even in broad daylight.  He loves to be read to and to splash in the bathtub...basically a typical boy.

Here is a picture we used to help announce the news of the new baby on the way and is also showing Benjamin's love for laundry.