You Know When You're Sleep Deprived When...

One of the biggest challenges of having a newborn is lack of sleep.  Now that Samuel is 6 weeks old and sleeping a little better, I can see the more humorous side of sleep deprivation.

You know when you are sleep deprived when:

1) You walk into a room and wonder what in the world you went there for, and the only thing you can remember is that you have already done the same thing 3 times that day.

2) You nearly burn the house down by turning on the wrong burner...more than once in a given day.

3) You fall asleep in mid sentence while praying.

4) You move to an uncomfortable chair under a bright light and still fall asleep in mid sentence while praying.

5) You decide to stand up to avoid falling asleep while praying, and still fall asleep while standing.

6) When your newborn is crying and you are wondering why until you realize that it is 8am and you haven't changed his diaper since 10pm the evening before (please don't turn me into child services - it only happened once!)

7) You fall asleep while waiting for a cavity to be filled.

8) You try to put a size newborn diaper on your two year old.

Welcome Samuel Joseph

On October 2nd we welcomed the newest member of our family, Samuel Joseph.  He weighed 6lbs 14oz and was 19.5".  What a blessing!  God answered so many prayers...he is healthy, full term (to the date!), and the birth was pretty much textbook.

Bringing home a full term baby is very different than a preemie.  There are no cords, monitors, or oxygen tubes to trip over.  We don't have to interrogate people to find out if they have been around any sick people in order for them to visit.  We are pretty relaxed about most things instead of being jumpy about everything.  He only has one doctor versus a team of specialists that come with a zillion appointments.  On the flip side, he came home with us the day after he was born and not on a schedule.  We didn't have a chance to get to know him and how he works before coming home.  He has a normal cry which can get pretty loud, versus a tiny kitten cry.  When all things are weighed out though, we have decided that we prefer to do full term babies over preemies.  :)

We survived the first couple weeks and are now trying to figure out what to do with a toddler and a newborn.  It is most definitely a full time job!  Benjamin is not sure what to think of this little invader.  He isn't hugely interested in him at this point, but he isn't so sure about sharing attention.  All in all he is doing very good and eager to help.

Stop the Prayers!

I'm not sure if I have ever asked people to stop praying, but if you are still praying that baby stays inside longer, feel free to stop and reverse your prayer! :)

I have less than 2 weeks to go to hit my 40 weeks.  I keep having to remind myself that I prayed for this!  My hands are swollen and numb, making the simplest tasks a little harder like buttoning shirts, opening basically anything, and writing.  It feels like I have dipped my hands in a thick wax.  My feet and legs are swollen too.  I noticed this morning that the swelling has moved up to my knees, but at least it isn't uncomfortable like with my hands.  I try to stop myself from complaining too much, because the sleepless nights, swelling, and just plain awkwardness of the end of the 3rd trimester is a small price to pay for a healthy full term baby.  Now if he would just hurry up...

The Best Prescription Ever!

Around 1:00am on Friday morning I woke up with a horrible headache.  My head was pounding and I felt a bit nauseous.  I took Tylenol, despite longingly looking at the bottle of Advil sitting next to it.  Tylenol has never worked well for me on real pain.  It felt like I had a bad hangover.  A couple hours later I was able to finally fall asleep again, comforted by the thought that I had a doctor's appointment later that morning.

Later that same morning I woke up with a mild headache and still had some mild nausea.  The nurse's first thought was preeclampsia, but my blood pressure was low as normal 85/60, and I didn't exhibit any other symptoms.  My doctor said he didn't have an answer for me and agreed that Tylenol doesn't work very well.  His prescription: caffeine.  He recommended drinking 2-3 cups of coffee a day when I needed it.  Apparently the caffeine dilates the blood vessels which relieves headaches and that is why Excedrin contains it.  I always thought that when you had a headache, drank coffee, and it went away it meant you were addicted to it.  Apparently not.  Regardless, I can honestly say that this is the best prescription that I have ever been given.  I wonder if I could put a Starbuck's latte on my flex-spending card?  :)

Hello September!

Our busy summer is coming to a close with many exciting things ahead.  Our garage has good progress and hopefully by the end of next week will have siding and electricity.  Doors come after that and once they are up we get to move Benjamin's roommate (the upright freezer) out to begin to make room for little brother.  Brian is exhausted as he has been the primary builder of the garage, but also excited as this is something he as wanted since he moved in almost 6 years ago after we were married.  We call it a garage, but in reality it will be Brian's shop.

Little brother is due in just over 4 weeks!  As of yesterday they estimate his weight to be 5lbs and 13oz by ultrasound.  That is right at 50% and where they want him to be.  Everything looks great and the doctors are very pleased with how this pregnancy is going.  Now if only the swelling in my feet would go down and my hands stop going numb...but I really don't have rights to complain as God has taken care of me and baby every step of the way.

We went to the ear specialist today for a followup on Benjamin's ears.  Another blessing, Benjamin's ears have improved and therefore tubes are not necessary at this time.  He still has some negative pressure and his right ear is not quite in the "normal" hearing range, therefore we are going to continue using his nasal spray until next spring to get him through the cold season to help prevent ear infections.

Benjamin has really started to say words or at least attempt them.  He is still delayed for his age, but making notable progress every week.  His understanding is very good (that doesn't mean he always obeys...typical 2 year old) and he has started repeating words often.  One thing that I don't think he understands is that a baby is going to join the family.  He can point at a baby he sees and say baby, but sometimes I ask him where the baby is and he pulls up his shirt.  Apparently baby and belly are synonymous in his mind. :)

Dish Help

Picking Beans

Serious Reader

Canning Season

It's August, which means it's canning time.  I have found that this is an almost-lost art that I think is coming back around.  I grew up in a home where mom canned everything from peaches to cherries to beans to relish to pickles.  We always had a big garden and when my parents built their house 28 years ago, they even planned a special room in the basement to store all of mom's canned goods.  We called it the fruit room.  I remember being sent down and told to "pick a fruit" for that evening's meal.  How amazing to have a whole grocery aisle in your home!

Now that I have my own home and garden I have enjoyed harvesting from it and preserving food for the winter.  There is something wonderful about planting seeds, caring for them as they grow, and harvesting with your own hands.  This year is the first year I have been blessed to stay home and it makes canning and preserving that much more fun.  It is also something that I know how to do to help provide for my family, which feels good.

Earlier this month I picked raspberries and froze pulp for freezer jam (sooo much better than store bought!) and last week I picked blueberries to freeze since our family loves them with oatmeal.  Earlier this week I made pesto out of our basil to freeze (there is nothing better in the middle of winter than a good pesto pasta).  Today I picked my third crop of green beans and canned them.  My hope is to can carrots, beets, peaches, and applesauce before the season is over.

31 weeks!

...and the countdown begins.  Am I really 6 weeks beyond were Benjamin was born?  Today I had another appointment and everything looks great again.  What a blessing...seriously.  I remember saying early on in my pregnancy how cool it would be to make it to 32 weeks and it looks like I am going to do it.  Who knows, maybe I will go past due!  Bring it on!  The ultrasound tech got a great shot of my sweet little guy.  I think he looks like his brother, but we will have to wait to really find out.  He weighs 3lbs 11oz, well over double the size Benjamin was at birth.  Thank you, Jesus...

Blankets for My Boys

Over the past several months I have been working on making blankets for my boys.  For Benjamin, I wanted to make a quilt for his toddler bed.  My budget was pretty limited since we have lots of other money-guzzling projects and medical bills, so I tried to be creative with what I had.  I went to my quilting stash of pieces from various projects and was able to find enough for the squares and even the backing, so my only expenses were the sashing and batting.  After hours of piecing it together and even more hours of doing the hand-quilting, I finally finished this project about a week ago.  I was pretty pleased with how it turned out, especially since it was made with scraps.

Last week I finally pulled out the material I bought back in May to make our baby boy a blanket.  About 3 years ago I started making blankets as my signature gift for baby showers for the ladies at church.  They consist of 5-6 different fabrics of a mixture of satin, flannel, and cotton with a fuzzy fleece backing.  I have fun trying to tailor the blanket to the baby/mom as best as I can.  This blanket is my 9th one (yes, we have had quite the baby boom at church in recent years), so I was able to finish it in just a few evenings.

Reflections

I have officially been bit by the nesting bug.  Collecting items for baby, buying things like diapers, pacifiers, a special coming home outfit and blanket, a baby book, making a blanket, preparing Benjamin, and working on a bag to take to the hospital.  Yesterday, as I drove home from yet another appointment, I had a strange realization.  I am so excited to hold my baby boy.  Sounds strange, huh?

When Benjamin was born it took me a while before I realized that though he survived and was well, which I still praise God for on a regular basis, I went through a grieving process.  I had my little boy, but I mourned the loss of the "normal" experience I expected...a tough labor/c-section resulting in a baby being placed in my arms, staring down at a chubby, wrinkly, 9 lb boy (there is a history of high birth weights in my family), and taking him home a few days later.  I recall sitting in the cafeteria of the hospital during his NICU stay when a birthing class came in for a lunch break.  I ached with envy as I realized those women would likely deliver full-term babies.  They would get to take them home soon after they were born.  Their children would not be followed by half a dozen specialists, nor would not need multiple surgeries.  They would just get to be moms of typical babies.

A natural instinct against pain is self-defense.  If someone breaks your heart, you learn and guard it more carefully next time.  If you don't allow yourself to feel something completely, then it doesn't hurt as bad if things go wrong, right?  I think the same thing has happened in this situation.  I have loved this baby since I knew he was on the way, but a part of me has held back.  I didn't want to grieve the experience again.  By doing this, however, I now realize I have robbed myself of so much.  How much joy have I exchanged for the hope of protection against more hurt?  When Benjamin was at one of his worst points after his first surgery, when we were not sure if he would make it or not, our good friend and pastor Zach, gave us words that I will never forget.  He told us to basically savor every moment with Benjamin - really enjoy him, because we don't ever know when it will be the last.  This was not coming out of fear, but out of purely loving and enjoying the time that God has given us with him, whether it be 3 days or 75 years.  Maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.

As for me, I still get concerned about this little guy, but I am allowing myself to fully love him, enjoy each kick, and daydream about a chubby little boy being placed directly in my arms, being slightly nervous about taking him home a few days after he is born.  Also, knowing that if anything else should happen, I can once again lean on the shoulders of a very big God who heals hurts and mends broken hearts.

Summer Fun

Summer is flying by so fast, I can't believe that July is already over half gone.  We have been working on many projects this year and never seem to have enough time.  Our garage has its foundation and walls up, with a few trusses in place.  The irrigation system is in and working and the garden is growing fast.  The back fence is almost done with just a few boards that need some work before they can be put up.  Our new grass is growing beautifully in the back and now Benjamin can finally play on it.  Here is a picture from several weeks ago.

Last weekend we took a break from our projects and went to the beach with Brian's family for a few nights.  It was really nice to get away and relax.  The weather wasn't so good, but the house we stayed in had a gorgeous view of the ocean.  We did get some beach time for Benjamin to play in the sand.  As much fun as it was to get away, it was good to come home too.  There is nothing quite as wonderful as my own bed. :)

Here is a picture of Benjamin getting his legs buried by Uncle Bobo.

We stopped by a taffy shop just for fun and they gave Benjamin a piece of his first taffy (he is holding it if you look close.)

Benjamin is doing great.  He keeps me on my toes and does new things every day.  He is starting to say more words like baby, hat, eye, Amy (his cousin), me, more, and a few others.  He also can sign "help" now too.  This week we started going to Speech Therapy weekly instead of every other week, so I am hoping we will continue to see improvements.  We are also praying for Benjamin's ears.  He hears well, but does have negative pressure behind his ears.  This seems to be minor, but we have to give him a steroid nasal spray that will hopefully open up the tubes in his ears to help fluid drain.  We go back in 5 weeks to check his ears again.  If there is still negative pressure behind his ears he will need to have tubes put in.  That is a simple outpatient procedure, but I would rather not do it if possible.

New Territory

Benjamin is really starting to say more new words.  Considering he has only had a few words for months now, this is big news!  About a week ago he said "key" for the first time and has repeated it several times since.  Today he said "mama" several times on his own (usually I have to prompt him).  He has been doing better at signing "more" and today he picked up a toy phone and said "hi" several different times.  That was particularly exciting as we have been concerned about his pretend play skills, and that is one of them.  Once again, our son proves he is just on his own time line.

Speaking of time lines, tonight/tomorrow is a big milestone for us...our little boy #2 is at the same exact gestational age as Benjamin was when he was born - 25 weeks and 2 days.  That means after tomorrow, I am in new territory - I have no clue what being in the third trimester feels like.  It is almost like a first pregnancy!

This weekend we were looking at the picture below of Benjamin the day after he was born.  This is the stage our baby is at now and he probably looks pretty similar.  The picture below it is a 4D ultrasound that was done of our baby last Thursday (hand on the right, knee on the left.)  It was amazing to see what a baby looks at in real life at 25 weeks, but since we have been there and done that, we'll skip it this time :)  

 
It was truly amazing to see him in 4D though.  What a miracle every child is.

Half Way!

Our baby boy is 20 weeks along now, so we have officially reached the half way mark.  So far so good!  I am continue to have weekly progesterone shots (5 down, 15 to go) and have doctor visits every 3 weeks as long as there are no warning signs.  As the politicians say, I am cautiously optimistic at this point.

We have been knee deep in home improvement lately.  Brian has been working on building a fence for our backyard whenever the weather permits.  We are planting a new back lawn and while we were at it we decided to put in a landscape irrigation system, so now we have a 4" trench around most of our yard.  This week we also turned in an application for a building permit for a garage too.  Ok, we are more like neck deep versus knee deep.  It is not always fun, but I know it will be awesome when it is all complete.  Benjamin likes to help too.  Here he is trying on mommy's gloves.

Mother's day weekend we got our first recliner.  I was resistant for a long time, but I must say it is wonderful to be able to kick up my feet at the end of the day, especially being pregnant.  Benjamin likes it for reading.  The picture below was taken the day we got it.  He just climbed up and made himself at home.

Last week Benjamin got to play with his friends Maxson and Aiden.  They have an amazing play area behind their house that is like a park.  It has a sandbox, which Benjamin loved, swings, and an incredible pirate ship fort with a slide.  It was super fun.  Benjamin loved the swings, despite his tendency to slide forward which made him look like a hung sock monkey. :)

        

Celebrating Moms

It is so wonderful to have one day of the year set aside to honor our mothers.  Now that I am a mother myself, it has even more significance.  I have an awesome mom and have always loved her and thanked God for her, but it wasn't until I lost hours of sleep up feeding or comforting my son, changing explosive diapers, etc. that I became even more thankful.  Everything I do for Benjamin, my mom has already done for me.  This week I have thought about that quite a bit.

Yesterday, Benjamin and I did some grocery shopping.  He usually does great, but yesterday he got a little impatient, even with a container of snacks.  He started crying at one point and was so loud that a clerk came over and said "Is all of that noise coming out of this little guy?"  She was very nice about it, but it was a little embarrassing.  He calmed down and I continued shopping.  He likes to hold on to objects, so I gave him a watermelon to keep by his side.  He usually picks at the sticker and all is fine.  This time, however, while I had my back turned I heard a thud and turned around to find a cracked open watermelon on the floor with juices spilling out.  Even more, Benjamin was pointing at it as if to say "look mom, the watermelon jumped!"  It was one of those moments where I just wanted to hide.  Fortunately, I was able to bag up the cracked melon and found paper towels nearby to clean up the mess.  I doubt that I threw a watermelon (my mom would have probably known better than to give a 2 year old a watermelon), but I am sure I did a few things that made my mom want to hide.  So, thanks Mom, for losing sleep, changing diapers, and surviving embarrassment, not to mention all of the things you do and have done for me as a grandparent to Benjamin.

It's A...

Today was our ultrasound to check out baby #2.  We found out that we will be having another boy!!!  It was so fun to see little one looking just like a mini person and wiggling around.  From what they could tell baby is right on track for size and right where they they want him to be (huge praise!).  It is so wonderful to say "him" instead of "it" or "they!"  I already feel more connected to my youngest son just by being able to think of him as a little boy and not just a baby.  We don't have a name yet, though a couple ones we have discussed are Henry and Wesley.  This happened to us with Benjamin - we were just stumped over it.  One day I love a name, then the next day I don't so much.  Here is an ultrasound of our little guy:

Signs & Wonders

After about a year of me trying, Benjamin finally signed his first word, "more" about a week and a half ago and has been doing it consistently since then.  He can almost do the sign for "all done" though it is more like clapping so I am not always sure what he wants to communicate.  I cannot get over how correct the Early Intervention team we have been working with was right...communication does truly follow walking.  After just a couple weeks of being able to walk we have seen so much change!  Even his toy preference is changing.  He now has a love for stuffed animals, especially a soft teddy bear the hospital gave him the day of his surgery.  Before they were just objects for throwing.

Tomorrow is the day we (hopefully) find out if Benjamin will have a little brother or sister.  People keep asking me if I have an intuition on what it is.  I was much more sick with this baby than Benjamin, making me wonder if it was girl, but lately have been thinking more boy and last night had a dream it was a boy.  I am sure that one of my two guesses will be correct!  Either way we are thrilled at what God gives us.  It will be fun to call baby "he" or "she" rather than "it" or just "baby."  Hopefully we will agree on a name so we can call baby by name and pray for him or her by name too.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!  I love Easter.  It is a wonderful time to reflect on God's entire plan for the human race from creation, the fall, offering Himself up as a sacrifice to pay our fines, conquering death, and offering eternal life to us.  How blessed we are to be part of His eternal plan!

This year we celebrated Easter with our church family as usual and in the afternoon headed over to Grandma & Grandpa's for dinner.  We had a delicious dinner and too many desserts, but it was sooo good.  After dinner we headed outside for our traditional Easter egg hunt.  This was Benjamin's first year to join in, since last year he wasn't even crawling.  We tried to help him understand the point of the hunt, but he just wanted to pick up the egg and play with it, so after 4 eggs we just let him sit down and play with them.  Next year we may have to practice ahead of time. :)  

The 2011 egg hunters: Cohen, John, Amy, Benjamin, and Emma.  

Tulips & Surgery

On Monday, my mom and I took Benjamin to the Tulip festival.  I had not been for about 10 years and it was fun to see the beautiful colors.

Benjamin loved the pretty flowers and was so gentle with them.

But much more fun than the flowers were the rocks.  Such a boy.

If you look closely, you will see below that Benjamin is not admiring the pretty flowers, but the rock he is holding. :)

Now those are what I call shoes...

Tuesday was Benjamin's eye surgery.  We had an early start and were back home by early afternoon.  Everything went well and Benjamin did great.  When he checked in he was actually excited and thought it was a party.  The other children we were sharing a room with were crying and very upset and Benjamin was bouncing around having a great time.  Maybe he felt like he was back in familiar territory?  Maybe he was excited about wearing the pink hospital clothes again (I still don't understand why they didn't choose green, brown, or yellow)?  He certainly didn't need the meds they gave him for anxiety, but they did help him to be less hyper.

After the surgery was not as much as a party as his eyes were sore and I am sure he was confused, but he still did great.  The worst part now is having to give him eye drops 4 times per day.  Have you ever given a toddler eye drops?  I reminds me of calf wrestling you see at rodeos.  To do it well, you need 3 people.  One to control the hands and body, one to keep his head still, and one to get the drops in.  Unfortunately, it is just me for 3 of the 4 times per day.  You can imagine how that goes!  Now he is a bit cross-eyed and his eyes have a lot of red in the white part, but both of those should clear up in a week or two.

#7 & Fun with a Blanket

Spring!  I love this season.  Though we have had so much rain, God has provided a few days here and there of sun.  Last Friday was absolutely gorgeous and such a gift.  I got to spend several hours outside in the yard weeding and just enjoying the fresh air.  Benjamin came out too after his name and had great fun.  Sunshine does the heart good.

I am really surprised how easily I have settled into my new role as a full time homemaker.  I feel like I have been doing it for years in some ways.  I still find it strange how little time there seems to be though and how fast the days go.  That was one of my biggest concerns about staying home - being bored - but I have not had the chance yet.  Baby is now 14 weeks along and according to one of my books is 3-4 inches from head to rump and if you could peek inside would look just like a miniature human.  Thank you, God that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am still experiencing some nausea, especially in the evenings, which I was sure would be gone by now.  I am praying that it will fade away soon and not last the whole pregnancy (or I might wish baby would come early! Just kidding.)

Brian is doing really well at his new job and has received good compliments from both his manager and coworkers.  He is really starting to get into his work and seems to enjoy it.  His current job is a contract position (a little higher pay with lousy benefits) and there is possibility that he may be hired on full time in the future (a little less pay, but hopefully good benefits) which would really bless our family as we have a very special boy with some pretty special needs.  We would appreciate any prayer we can get in this area.

Benjamin is doing well.  He is happy and vibrant and I fall in love with him all over again each and every day.  I feel so blessed to be his mommy.  We found out several weeks ago that he will need another eye surgery, that is scheduled in 2 weeks.  This surgery is to correct his "wandering" eye and may be on one or both eyes. This is surgery #7.  Seven is the perfect number, so I am praying that this will complete his surgeries, though we have been told that sometimes it can take multiple surgeries to correct this problem.  If gone un-treated, his brain would eventually "turn off" the sight to that eye to avoid seeing double, so it is very necessary.  We would appreciate prayer for this too, as every surgery comes with risks.

A few weeks ago we received a blanket made from girls in Thailand that live in a Remember Nhu home.  (Remember Nhu is a ministry that has homes in several countries that welcome in primarily young girls that are at high risk to be sold into prostitution.)  They are learning to knit and have knitted together squares to make a little blanket.  As soon as I opened the package, Benjamin decided it was his blanket and spent the next half hour or so dragging it around the house.

Here is another picture I thought was cute.  Our church's little Sunday School has been learning about the Armor of God.  One week they talked about the helmet of salvation and gave the kids little toy army helmets as an illustration.  (If you are wondering were Benjamin's glasses are in these pictures, so am I!)

 

2 years !!!

Benjamin turned 2 years old on Sunday!  We celebrated in the evening and had dinner with family.  Benjamin received some fun new gifts that he has been enjoying this week.  Below is a picture of Benjamin when he was being serenaded "Happy Birthday."  His Grandma Jan made the beautiful cake.

He received another special birthday cake from his friend Bella (4).  This was not any ordinary cake, as it was composed of colorful, special ingredients including a bracelet and some lovely hair clips for frosting.  As you can see below, Benjamin got a little "frosting" in his hair.  (Hopefully daddy doesn't see this post or this part might get removed.) :)

 

Here is a fun picture of Benjamin "helping" me with the dishes the other day.

Remembering

In the past week I have seen Benjamin start to walk on his own much more.  He is still a bit uncertain and wobbly, but he is starting to walk between furniture and across rooms at times.  Yesterday he walked by himself just holding onto one of my hands down to the end of the block.  I was really hoping that he would be doing this by his second birthday, which is Sunday!  I cannot believe it has been two years since my little guy made his surprise arrival.  Last week during an insomnia spell one night, I allowed myself to drift back to the days spent in the NICU.  I often think of bits and pieces of our journey, but I really allowed myself to remember this time.  Honestly, it was hard.  It is amazing how you can stuff pain away like an ugly sweater in your closet.  But next to the ugly pain sweater is the beautiful "miracles & blessings" sweater that is a joy to rediscover.  The David Crowder Band song "How He Loves Us" just came to mind.  That song is so true.  If you haven't heard it check it out at this site http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=11&id=1034792.  God loves us so powerfully and He is jealous for our hearts.  You can know God if life is just dandy and nothing bad ever happens to you, but when you go through something tough and suddenly God goes from being big and good to being your lifeline and source of breath...wow.   It is so weird to love a difficult experience.  My mom and I were talking about this just the other week.  We didn't wish this on Benjamin, yet we would not want to go back and undo the experience (but I don't want to do it again either!)

A quick update on my little guy's progress.  We had an appointment with the Developement Pediatrician & PT today.  I must say I am not a big fan of these apts because we almost always end up walking away with more apts with other specialists and they usually can be rather negative as they focus on what he is behind on rather than how far he has come (that is when I realize how blessed we are to have his other PT, Karen who tends to focus on the positive and provides much comfort for this mama's heart.) They did standardized testing on him to see his progress.  He did much better than last time, but as usual they want more work on speech and occupational therapy and ordered a hearing test.  (I told them Benjamin's hearing is fine, but could they look at Brian's instead?  He never seems to hear me.)  I always walk out of there feeling like a bit of a failure as a mom.  Just another reason to pray harder for a full term or near full term baby this time.  It would be cool to just have one regular pediatrician to work with instead of a bunch of specialists.  I do not recommend parenting under a microscope.  

Day 5

Well, I am in day 5 of my new job, and today I am loving it.  It snowed yesterday and has been cold enough that some of it stuck around this morning, but the sun is out and even though I am not out in it (36 and windy is too much for me) I love looking out the window.  Also, this is the second day in a row that I had a little break from nausea.  I felt good for 3-4 hours yesterday and actually most of today.  It is amazing how much difference your outlook on life changes when you feel good.  I still feel sick at night, which I could do without, but I keep reminding myself that it is just a reminder that I am carrying my little peanut. :)

Benjamin did a little funny this morning...He was sitting in his highchair eating some kix cereal while I checked my email for a minute.  I left the box on our table with the intent to give him a little more when he finished, but apparently he didn't want to wait for me so he stretched to get the box and when I looked over he had poured most of the contents onto his tray!  Thank goodness it was not a full box, and he managed to only drop half a dozen on the floor.  Guess that is what I get for not staying on top of my duties!  Sounds like he will be a take-charge kind of guy.

It is so nice to move at this new pace.  I feel like a lot of tension has been lifted.  I am just thanking God for lining it all up for our family.

One Chapter Closes, Another Begins

Change...it is beautiful, stressful, fresh, and just plain different.  There a lot of changes and blessings in our household these days.  First, Brian started his job in early December.  It was a huge blessing since the economy had us wondering if he was going to be a stay-at-home dad for a while.  It was also a bit of a stress as we were back to the crazy routine of dropping Benjamin off and picking him up and juggling his appointments and life in general.  So when it was time to make a decision about my future, the decision was not as hard.  In mid January I turned in my resignation.  The week after I gave my notice, we found out that Benjamin was going to be a big brother!  This is my first week off and in many ways I am so glad.  I am only 8 weeks along, but for the past 2 weeks I have been so tired and a bit nauseous.  With Benjamin I started to feel better around 11-12 weeks, so I am praying that it will be the same and I will start feeling better in 3-4 weeks.

What now?  I have worked full time for nearly 10 years now and was the sole bread-winner for most of our marriage.  I thought to myself, "now I get to just relax for a while and take it easy."  And then I remembered that I am a mom of a busy toddler and a 1/2 inch peanut.  It was a nice thought though.  I am excited about spending time with Benjamin and actually getting to rock and read books and not feel like I have a million other things to do.  I am also excited about having time to make meals that take more than 20 minutes to cook and having a home that doesn't look the aftermath of an earthquake.  Brian and I agree that we will probably not ever live in a really nice home or drive new cars or take nice vacations, but the trade off is worth it to us.  I am only 2 days into this, but I think it will be really healthy for my family.

As for Benjamin, he is almost 2!  He is still not walking, but mainly because he is too proficient at crawling.  His physical therapist has challenged me with motivating him to walk.  He has taken up to 6-7 steps on his own, but since his is extremely proficient at crawling I think he wonders why he should walk.  He says a couple words and is doing more repeating.  He is hugely fascinated with light.  No matter where he goes he always points out the light fixtures and if they are off, he says "ahh" for "on".  My dad say he works for the electric company, since he will ask and ask and ask again for the lights to be turned on even in broad daylight.  He loves to be read to and to splash in the bathtub...basically a typical boy.

Here is a picture we used to help announce the news of the new baby on the way and is also showing Benjamin's love for laundry.