Yesterday was Benjamin's two month birthday! He has grown 4" and gained over 2lbs since his birth. He is currently still at about the 8th percentile for babies his gestation.
Not much has changed since my last email on Monday. He is doing a little better and was more alert today. I got to hold him again both yesterday and today, something that I have been deprived of since last Thursday. It was fun to watch him make cute faces in his sleep while I held him. He would smile, then smack his lips, then make a tiny "o" with his mouth. I must say that through everything surrounding this experience, I am learning more and more about how to just savor the moment. Early on, after Benjamin's first surgery, we were counseled by our dear friend Zach to not allow worry about tomorrow to rob us of the joys of today. If I could give a speech to the entire world today, I think this would be the topic. I am a worry wort by nature, mainly because sometimes I think if I half expect the worse, when something bad happens it won't catch me by surprise and hurt as bad. Wrong. Though that way of thinking might take some of the sting out of a bad outcome, it will take even more joy out of the good things in life. I vividly remember sitting by Benjamin's bedside late that night after his surgery and looking past all the tubes and wires, the swollen belly, and purplish skin color and just loving my sweet baby, savoring the time I had with him, and enjoying just being Benjamin's mommy, even if for only that night. That, my friends, is true peace.
I will be the first to admit that I am not always in that place and I do have some fear about the surgery scheduled Thursday. It is a 4 hour surgery and was told to expect him to be really swollen again, like last time, and to be sick for several days after. It is a necessary and good thing, but I am not excited about seeing my little boy go through it again. So I am asking you to please pray in advance and lay a foundation of prayer ahead of time for Benjamin's health, strength, and healing, for the surgical team lead, his Neonatolgists, his wonderful primary nurses (Leanna, Linda, Jenny, and Tara) and a large group of nurse practitioners, respiratory technicians, and other specialists that will be caring for him during and after the surgery. And that Brian and I would be filled with the peace that can only come from God, that is beyond all understanding.
Thank you dear friends and family for continuing to hold us up in prayer.
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